Ideas
Here is a bit from my comments for the children's illustration class I'm taking this week at the Maine College of Art with Judy LaBrasca:
I keep an idea file with bits of paper with unfinished poems or possible titles. Often these ideas come to me in the car (during carpool) and are scrawled on the backs of receipts. More often, I try to keep the ideas more organized in a sketch book that I keep beside me in the car and in my purse. Another sits beside my bed. My sketch books are full of writing as well as sketches. I have been carrying a sketch book pretty religiously since 2002.
Actually, it was a journal with lines in 2002. At that point I saw myself as a writer who liked to draw. In 2003, I got rid of the lines. In 2004, I took Leticia Plate’s Business of Illustration course throught the continuing studies program. In 2005, I had a web site, a portfolio, and sent out two rounds of postcards. I got two small jobs last year. I was an illlustrator. This year, I had a lack luster portfolio review at the New England SCBWI conference. This, in addition to the fact that I have not been able to make any money through my illustration or writing this year has caused a lack of confidence in my skills. I have been questioning if I am really an author/illustrator or if I am indeed, a writer who likes to draw. I am taking the class, in large part for the support and constructive criticism of an instructor and fellow artists.
Actually, I am jealous of other artists sketch books. Too me, other artists have drawings that look so finished and accomplished. They seem to sketch all the time. I love to see the sketch books with a collage of ideas, crowding the pages, new characters peeking out from behind each other. I love the drawings that are born out of the artist’s mind’s eye. Fantastical and free, tripping from page to page. My scrawling is big with a single drawing filling a page. I find it difficult to draw anything well if I am not looking at reference of some type. Instead, my sketch book is filled with quick gesture drawings, unfinished observational drawings, composition ideas and words.
posted by annawritedraw @ 5:13 AM
1 Comments:
Anna, I think we all live with those questions. I've been blessed to know some of those people that are already in history books, and oddly enough they have the same doubts and fears. One even is wealthy and successful enough to run around with sycophants to counteract it (tell you who in private-- prior to that I had such utter and complete respect for him. It really did change my view of him, though I still love his work).
I felt very much the way you feel now, right after the move. It seemed like all of my friends' hard work was paying off, book deals all around, and I couldn't even finish the project, any project.
When Annie died, I became very sick with the flu and I think some of it was the flux I was in. I really was in a delirium for two weeks. But it was amazing what I came out of on the other side. I became sick because of all those doubts, and just feeling so inadequate to tell Ann's story, do it justice and now she was gone.
I came out, realizing, I could tell the tale, and if I didn't it might not get done. Certainly not with the love and intimacy from someone who knows both Annie and Old Orchard Beach, as well as a love of history. I still struggled, and then an exercise with some friends, I decided to do some grisaille. I'd never tried it before, and thought what the heck-- I'd at least finish THIS piece (and it goaded me into finishing the pieces for Open Fields School). Surprise, I realized THIS was the method to my illustrations. Some of them simply fell together. It was amazing. And the text has been similar.
What I discovered, and had heard but not understood til that point, that I wasn't only creating the work, but the process itself. Sometimes, oftentimes when I'm stymied, it's because I've not found the language, visual or otherwise, to express it.
I think your style is unique. Graphic, strong, competently solid, yet friendly and open. I love your use of colors, when they look lithographic. My suggestions to you would be to get into a drawing class-- your drawings are strong, and you've improved so much from when I first met you. You can only become a bit freer with your line and more confident of your forms. If that's not possible then finding just photographs of kids and objects and practicing with that, your little girl jumping up is fresh, and I adore your kitten with a goldfish!
The other suggestion, is to use different sizes sumi-e brushes and those marker brushes and play with the thick and thins.
I know what you mean about comparing to other people, that can lead to madness, though. Do know you have something that most would die for-- a style. It's been unmistakeable since day one, and is something you carry with grace.
I think you have real talent, and you have something to say. Real drive too. Sometimes it's hard to remember why we do these things. You have a lot to offer.
Love,
Agy
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