Productive artist seeks nap

So this three in the morning medicine thing is actually making me pretty productive. Last night I worked on games and mazes for the magazine market. Yesterday during the normal sunshine hours, I mailed out Our Regular Bus and packet of poems to Spider magazine. I also sent Pre-school Jumble out to Wordsong. I'm working through the to do list and that feels great. If I could just be assured a nice long nap after lunch I'd be okay.

I was listening to the writer's almanac with Garrison Keilor on NPR the other day when he mentioned Phillip Larkin a poet and librarian. " In 1966, he wrote in a letter, "I feel I am landed on my 45th year as if washed up on a rock, not knowing how I got here or ever had a chance of being anywhere else... Anyone would think I was Tolstoy, the value I put on writing, but it hasn't amounted to much."

I would never compare myself to Tolstoy but I definetly have the feeling sometimes that my efforts are all for naught. I am thankful for a husband who helps me support my habit. I suppose he believes in me. I know my parents do. I believe in me too. (Until the rejection cycle starts again.) I know that I am submitting in the right market. The rejections are getting kinder and friendlier. I'm just ready for the acceptance. Sometimes I wonder about taking an Institute of Children's Literature class for $600 or going to art school (which I do believe I will do at some point.) Last June, when I quit teaching, I thought I'd have at least one writing or illustration acceptance by the end of this year. That gives me until December. I sure hope I meet that goal. Perhaps I should give myself until my "45th" like Phillip Larkin.